Yesterday I looked at lots of diagrams of guinea pigs� private parts, and managed to determine that Neville is actually a girl.

So, depending on how good my guinea pig identification skills are (apparently guys often look like gals, so it is possible that I may be mistaken), Neville is now Pandora. And despite putting notices up and knocking on doors, Pandora�s real owners still haven�t come forward, so it looks as though Pandora is here to stay. This shouldn�t make me happy, but it does. She is cute and fuzzy and I want to be her mommy.

Bonnie calls Pandora the �Excrement Engine�, and says that she looks like she stuck her paw in an electrical socket because she�s having a �permanent bad hair day�. However, I have also caught her crouching in front of Pandora�s box (hahaha, how witty I am), and saying: �hey sweetie, do you want a guinea pig treat?�

According to a guinea pig breeder on one of the message boards I frequent, Pandora is a DEG Abyssinian. This means nothing to me. She could be a Siberian Super Shitter for all I know about guinea pigs. She�s cute though, is she not?

After detailed instructions from the guinea pig breeder, we went to the 24 hour Wal-Mart and spent $45 on �things to make Pandora (then Neville) happy�. We got her a pet taxi to live in until we could get to a pet store and get a proper cage, timothy hay, a water bottle, food bowls, and wood shavings. She�s much happier in the pet taxi than she was in the cardboard box. She flips over her food bowls, drinks from her bottle, and has perfected the art of sticking her little ass through the bars at the front and pissing on the kitchen floor.

I did think about naming her �Poison Ivy� (after what I found her in), but Pandora seems to suit her somehow.

Oh, and she is coming with us to Mississippi. Dr Mom is being incredibly charitable letting me bring her, as she has a deathly fear of rodents. When Bonnie�s aunt bought Bonnie a guinea pig at the age of three, Dr Mom almost miscarried Bonnie�s younger sister. I will be keeping Pandora WELL away from Dr Mom.

Pandora will be sitting in a box on my lap for 500 miles. She can�t ride in the camper of the truck as it would be too hot for her, so she has to stay in the air conditioned cab with us. I have never travelled 500 miles in one day with ANY animal before (unless you count Bonnie, my pet Texan), so this is going to be interesting.

It gets boring when people go on and on about their pets, so I�m going to shut up now.